The Birth of a Calling

 

The following is a writing assignment–a personal essay–I wrote in my first term at Indie Birth Midwifery School

I come from a middle class family with both parents holding biology degrees. While both parents respect the laws of nature, they are also both heavily encultured in the idea of medical technology. My father, as a Type 1 diabetic, has survived most of his life thanks to the advances of 20^th Century medicine. This is the story of how I evolved past that type of thinking, and unveiled my calling to the art of midwifery.

I grew up hearing the story of my own birth: my mother laboured for 23 hours, and the doctor eventually delivered me with forceps, scarring my face under my right eye in the process. I grew up learning to see this scar as a physical reminder of the dangerous nature of birth, and the fortune of having modern medical care available to us.

When in my late teens, as midwifery was just being regulated in my home province of Ontario, my parents opined that home birth was ‘selfish’ and folks who have successful home births with midwives were ‘lucky nothing went wrong.’ In my first year of university, one of my roommates was studying midwifery, and I learned that midwifery was hitting the mainstream. If a university offers a four-year degree in midwifery, it would be unconscionable for them to set people up for disaster, so it must be at least a reasonable alternative to the medical model of birth.

For several years after university I didn’t think about birth. That changed when I became pregnant with my first child, Caleb. My husband and I had recently relocated to Singapore, a very modern and technology worshipping city-state. I knew I wanted as natural a birth as possible, but felt anxious about my prospects of achieving it. I spent nine months researching birth models and philosophies, and created a terrific plan for care—as gentle as was possible within a high-tech hospital. Although I had a very empowering experience, I began to realize from talking to peers that for first time mothers in developed countries, ‘empowered’ is not usually how women describe their births. This led me to my interest in birth advocacy and doula work.

From 2012 to present, with some breaks, I worked as a doula and childbirth educator. Upon moving to Macau, I had toyed with the idea of pursuing midwifery education, but had dismissed it because of the lack of availability of training programs in this part of the world. As doula work is disregarded as a profession here in Macau, the government will not grant me a visa to work, so I have spent much of my time reading, writing, advocating and counseling women about birth. More and more I realized that my passion for feminism and normal birth, combined with my specific personality traits and talents, would be better suited to midwifery than doula work. My reading and research online led me to discover a conference called ‘Healthy Birth, Healthy Earth’ happening in Findhorn, Scotland in September 2016.

Off I went, halfway across the world, with high hopes of attaining personal and

Early morning airport selfie as I set off from Macau-Beijing-London-Inverness-Findhorn

 

professional inspiration and fulfillment. The conference vastly exceeded my expectations on every front. While in one of many afternoon breakout sessions, Ibu Robin Lim said to a group of emerging Birthkeepers, “if it is a piece of paper that is standing between you and making a difference in your calling, then get the paper!” This was a lightning rod moment for me. I had been struggling against the rampant credentialism I faced in my adopted country, but I also knew at that moment I needed to do whatever it took to get my voice heard, so it can be used to help women on a national and global level, in addition to helping individual families. So while at that point I still had no idea how I might achieve it, I committed myself to following the call.

Midwifery, to me, is a community-building activity, a spiritual and ethical calling. Continuing on my philosophical evolution, I envision myself a driving force within the birth community in Canada, helping to bridge the gap between care availability and birth outcomes in the general population, and those among the remote and indigenous populations. Through the natural teenage process of questioning and coming into awareness of the biases that coloured my parents’ worldviews, I have been able to create my own ideas and philosophies about birth. These philosophies have been strongly influenced by my exposure to several different cultures worldwide as I have traveled with my family for my husband’s work. I look forward to incorporating all of this knowledge and exposure into my future journey as a midwife and positively influence the birth cultures that I encounter along the way.

Macau Closer: Full Text of July 2016 Interview

Local yogi and new mom Rita Goncalves featured on the cover

Tell us about your background, how did you get into childbirth education?   

I first became interested in child rearing choices when I minored in Anthropology in university. My major was in biomedical physics-my interest at the time was medical imaging but that never panned out into a career as it didn’t quite meet my strong desire for meaning in my work that I found in discussing and investigating social justice issues. 
When I became pregnant with my first child, Caleb, who is now 5, I was a new arrival to Singapore, a “trailing spouse” as it were. I was a bit nervous about the prospect of having a baby in a medical system that was foreign to me, so I researched tirelessly about my options, and ended up choosing a childbirth education program called HypnoBirthing–The Marie Mongan Method. I also hired a doula, which is a woman with experience in childbirth who supports labouring women physically, emotionally and spiritually. I ended up having a truly wonderful birth experience and I owe it to the people I chose to support me. I had a great team. Fast forward a few months, and in sharing and listening to other women’s birth experiences with my online “moms group” I realized that many women were not having the same satisfying births, and many women were unaware of the choices available to them. Because my doula had been an essential component of my enjoyable birth, and because I was really interested in the feminist component of helping educate and empower women, I decided to become a doula.  
A year later I gave birth to my daughter (Caitlyn, now 3) in an entirely different circumstance and entirely different way-this time by emergency cesarean and in a very scary and vulnerable way. It helped me to see the side of support I had been unaware I was lacking until then. I realized that in addition to supporting women with mindset training and education I also needed to foster a deeper empathy within myself to help support the whole family when difficult situations arise.  
Because of that experience and the psychological impact it had on me: I went through an acute stage of PTSD with severe depression and anxiety for about 18 months later, I realized that not only does the way we birth matter, and have an impact not just on us as mothers (and fathers as witnesses and participants), but our children and the next generation as well. It’s a ripple effect. So now my education focuses not just on birth choices and preferences, but on fostering attachment between mother and newborn, and strengthening relationship between parents. There’s a saying “it takes a village to raise a child,” and it’s true, but in our society, and especially for foreigners who don’t have their extended families nearby it can be difficult to incorporate. It takes a village to support a new mother as well, and that’s what I’d love to see begin happening. Women supporting women, without shame or competition, just kindness and openness.  

Tell us about your company – what do you do and what is your guiding philosophy?  

Conscious Wellness Macau was named essentially because there are tricky rules about naming businesses here and I couldn’t use any words relating to pregnancy, parenthood, education or health. So “wellness” it is, but fortunately that works well for me too. I have a personal background in yoga and meditation and believe that along with education, in order to be happy, productive individuals –not to mention good parents–we need to do a good amount of introspection and self-exploration. So I hope that with guidance and encouragement, my clients will be inspired to make conscious choices about birthing and parenting. My guiding philosophy is to share what I know, to the benefit of others, and the things I know best are the things I have experienced. So one of my main business practices is practicing radical authenticity, and continuing to delve into my self-exploration to find lessons about my own self-care that I can communicate to others.  
As far as my actual services, I offer the HypnoBirthing childbirth preparation classes as a certified practitioner, I provide doula support to pregnant couples before, during and after their births, I offer breastfeeding counseling and I do ‘belly casting’ which is a method of preserving the beautiful form of a mother’s pregnant belly in plaster to be decorated as a keepsake. I have also partnered with MOMS-Macau Maternity Support to develop and deliver parts of their childbirth and parenthood preparation series.    
I am a frequent supporter of mental health initiatives, particularly for new mothers, as without that “village” support I mentioned, it is all too easy for mothers to succumb to depression and anxiety disorders, as I did myself. To that end, I have started a free breastfeeding group that meets once a month, just for moms to get out of the house and chat, drink coffee and exchange stories and advice about child rearing, peer-to-peer. Sometimes a little socialization with others who “get” it can make a world of difference.  

How do people hear about what you do and who is your typical customer?

Word of mouth has been my biggest calling card in Macau so far. The English-speaking community is so small and tight-knit, and the Portuguese community even more so. I was lucky to find a few well-connected families to work with when I first arrived, and the rest has happened as a result. It also helps being the only doula in town!
My typical clients are first time mothers who are nervous/curious/excited about childbirth, mainly from the expat community, as I cannot speak Chinese very well yet. Many come to me after they’ve given birth to ask about breastfeeding issues, and some come to me as second time parents who had difficulty the first time around and/or want to try something different.  

Do you incorporate any environmental practices in your business such as recyclable materials, low waste practices etc?

Environmental stewardship is something that has been important to me my whole life, a value that has been passed on to my from my mother. As an education provider, I don’t personally generate much waste, but I do encourage the use of waste reduction practices such as breastfeeding (it’s good for Mother Nature too!) and cloth diapering. I have for sale a line of modern cloth diapers that are easy to use and end up being cheaper in the long run than disposable diapers. If you think about the number of diapers a typical baby goes through in the first year of life it is mind boggling to think of how much of that is just sitting in landfill, or worse, getting incinerated so all the chemicals go into our air and water. 

 

Green Beginnings Diapers available at Conscious Wellness

 

How did you get involved in The Blissful Coloane Market at Grand Coloane?

The ladies who initiated the Blissful Market were literally the first friends I made when I came to Macau, so when they asked for my help in organizing, it was a no-brainier for me. One of the things I really missed about living in Canada was the weekly community market I visited religiously with my kids to buy all our produce and get special baked treats and local entertainment. Having the opportunity to help create something like that in my new home is a huge blessing to me. Plus it is a great opportunity to talk up my own business, and meet other like-minded individuals in the community.

What has your experience been at the market – is it growing, do you see new types of visitors, are you getting a lot of questions from people, are the nature of their questions developing?

The market has been well received by everyone, and as long as the weather has been on our side, we have seen improved interest each time. There are a core of regular visitors–who can resist the opportunity to get fresh, local veggies and food? And also many new faces each time. We are slowly bridging the gaps between the non-Portuguese foreigners, Portuguese long time residents, and the local Chinese. This is our ultimate aim, to make it a truly co-operative endeavor between all of the ethnicities that are represented in Macau. A truly “local” event. We are currently taking a break for the summer, and have been collecting feedback and will incorporate these when we return in the fall.

Are there any international wellness trends you wish existed in Macau?

Oh gosh yes. I see a lot of emphasis on bodily wellness, you know, exercise and fitness, clean eating, etc, but there is little talk of mental wellness. It has been a long journey for me to find my path to mental wellness, which in reality should be called “total wellness” since it includes proper nutrition and regular exercise. I have written a blog article about the start of that journey here and plan to write more updates about self-care for parents and families, and people of all walks of life. 
Another issue that is glaringly absent here is environmental stewardship, in many forms. I was happy (actually unsurprised, as it is 100% normal in Canada) to find upon my arrival recycling bins in my condo foyer, and have been using them consistently as I have my whole life. I was dismayed to learn recently that I and the others who use these are in a minority here in Macau. Some folks even believe that everything in the recycling bins goes straight in the trash–a horrifying thought–but I have to keep the faith and continue using them if for the only reason to show the powers that be that they are needed and useful. I wish people too more personal responsibility with their trash. We live in a beautiful and unique little territory with many UNESCO protected sights, it is a crying shame to see so many places covered with coffee cups and cigarette butts. Take pride in your city, residents of Macau!

What is your wellness routine, how do you look after yourself in terms of exercise, rest and food?

I have developed this through trial and error, research, therapy and coaching over the past 10-15 years. It started with yoga, and some form of mind-body exercise has become a must for me. Anything that links mindfulness of the breath with bodily movement. My current routine is all about balance, and continuing to take meaningful action. This includes scheduling in regular exercise, social activities with friends, time alone, time meaningfully engaged with my family, time in nature, time doing things that satisfy my life’s purpose, eating reasonably well with plenty of veggies and protein, counseling/therapy/self-exploration, spiritual practice and taking my medications and supplements. Currently in Macau this includes Pilates and proprioceptive movement, cycling, creating home rituals, tending my fish and my garden on my terrace, supporting social justice movements, getting my organic fruit and veg from the Blissful Carrot weekly CSA, and taking the brain support supplements Mastermind and Genesis from Allysian.  

Exercise and Genesis green/berry drink

 
As far as rest is concerned, with a daughter who is still disruptive at night, I call on help from my husband and helper so I can take daytime naps to make up for lost sleep at nighttime, and I use self hypnosis/guided meditation recordings to help clear my mind and relax for bedtime. 

What advice would you give people seeking to make lifestyle changes and move towards greater self care?

Take one meaningful step at a time. I’ve read a quote before that “two steps forward and one step back isn’t a sign of failure, it’s a cha-cha” and I try my darndest to keep perspective and humor about my expectations and achievements. Life is always interesting, so keep looking for the meaning, and the lessons in it. Don’t beat yourself up if you don’t get it right on the first try, just make sure you keep trying, and don’t take the next step forward until you have your balance in your current step.

Is Macau ready to embrace the Wellness movement?

I think “wellness” always seems like a good idea, and there’s definitely profit in it for those who want to go there, so it’s always a possibility for Macau of course. However, I think in these past few years we are witnessing a shift in global consciousness, and while some societies are still striving towards an ever-growing economy, on a community level many people are searching for greater meaning and purpose, and I think that’s where the wellness initiatives come in. Striving for something that’s greater than oneself is also an act of self-preservation, because it makes the individual feel good for doing it. So in that sense, I think yes, Macau is ready to embrace wellness, as more and more people realize wellness is a community, environmental and earthly state of being, as well as individual.

Allysian Sciences: My testimonial

Throughout the early spring this year I was struggling.  I’ve learned that it takes a delicate balance of many factors to manage my mental health, and unfortunately, several circumstances conspired against me this year to keep me from maintaining that.  In March, I took a very demanding (travel wise) vacation, which was wonderful, but exhausting at the same time.  And during that vacation I broke my wrist, which kept me from exercising for the next while, and, oddly enough, also seemed to take a lot of energy to heal. From there it was a constant cycle of getting back into fun exercise (I joined a dragon boat team! How cool is that?) and then being beset with another minor infection which kept me from making the exercise into a routine, and keeping my head above the proverbial waters of my anxiety and depression.  By the end of May, I’d had enough, and posted this on Facebook, with the slim hope for some miracle cure to be suggested by one of my friends.  Honestly, being perpetually exhausted, depressed and anxious, I was ready to try just about anything.

One friend, who had been hyping a certain product to me for a couple of months already spoke up again, and this time I decided to listen and give the product a try.  It is called Genesis, by Allysian Sciences.  At the same time, another friend, a naturopathic doctor, suggested I come for a consultation.  The ND came up with a list of herbal remedies for me to use, and when I cross-checked with the Genesis, many of the suggestions were already in the blend, so I only had to pick up a couple more to complete the list.

After the first dose of the Genesis, I noticed an increase in my energy and alertness, and not just the way coffee (my BFF) stimulated me, I actually felt like I’d had a restful sleep and was waking up with energy and motivation.  I was convinced enough to keep taking it, and I continued to improve over the next few weeks.  Not only did I get over my ear and sinus infections, but I noticed an improvement in my mood; not only was I able to exercise, but I could make it to the end of my aerobics video without hitting a wall, my previously broken wrist gained strength and flexibility and was able to bear weight without pain.  All these extra benefits when I was only hoping for a boost in my immune system.  After my two week trial, I decided I was happy enough with the product to continue to buy it, and as such decided to become an affiliate in order to get better prices.

In addition to the supplement, I learned Allysian had developed an app for iOS and Android that incorporated social media engagement with mindset training, and, if you are an affiliate, a free brain-training program delivered by CogniFit.  I’ve long been of the mind that I will engage in any and all activities if it is likely to improve my mental health, so I started to follow along with the daily program ’28 Day Mindhack,’ which is a curated collection of videos on various topics around creating your own mental reality, along with discussion points and calls to action.  I look forward soon to launching a group endeavor or “challenge” to complete this with a number of invested individuals.  Stay tuned for details on that.

After 28 sessions of CogniFit, in conjunction with the Allysian MasterMind and Genesis, I noticed a general uptick in my scores over four weeks.  Some days I’d drop a point or two, and I could usually attribute that to lack of sleep or

Coming Events February 2016

I’m excited to announce my first month’s roster of events for pregnant and new parents here in Macau!

Being a parent can be difficult and isolating at times, and bringing up a family in a foreign culture brings its own set of challenges. What helps us grow beyond these challenges is engaging in community support. Conscious Wellness’ big mission in 2016 is to build that community to connect parent to parent, across cultural boundaries, so we can support each other through our mutual experiences in our parenting journeys.

With that in mind, here are the details: The breastfeeding group will run on the last Wednesday of the month, at 10:30am in the Starbucks in Taipa Village.  I’m open to suggestions of other cozy spaces around Macau to meet, but I know Starbucks has a corporate commitment to supporting breastfeeding families, so I figured that was a good place to start.

The HypnoBirthing® workshop is a little taster session I will be running periodically to encourage pregnant families to sign up for the full 5 week comprehensive childbirth education course.  The $80 fee is to cover my room rental costs as well as secure commitment, and can be used as a deposit towards the course fee if you choose to register.

One of my goals for 2016 is to give monthly talks on a variety of subjects relating to pregnancy and parenting.  The babywearing talk is the first in that series.  In the future I will be covering topics like safe sleep, cross-cultural perspectives on parenting, birthing options in Macau and Hong Kong, and postpartum mental health and wellness.

If you are keen to join me for any or all of these events, please let me know at my facebook page or macaubirthdoula@gmail.com.  Looking forward to seeing you all soon!

6 months of Cognitive Behavioral Therapy for PPD distilled into one blog post

I took this photo the day I completed my six months of CBT and group therapy for postpartum depression and anxiety.  It was a satisfying moment; feeling accomplished at something for the first time in a long while.  It certainly wasn’t the end of the road for me and perinatal mood disorders, but I was happy at least I had acquired a set of useful tools to deal with the day-to-day drudgery and ongoing balancing act of managing a mood disorder while being a parent (and an adult in general).

 

A friend of mine is currently having a hard time, as so many mothers do in North America, and I was reminded of the lessons I learned and prompted to put them in writing for easy access–for myself as well as others.  So here it is:

 

Six months of CBT distilled

 

1. Ask for and accept help, even if it’s embarrassing.

It may seem tempting to tell yourself, “I can get so-and-so to come over and help as soon as I’ve gotten around to tidying up a bit,” or some other ‘If –> Then’ scenario.  Don’t wait any longer.  Ask for help, and if someone is kind enough to offer, accept it.  Don’t try to minimize your needs to avoid inconveniencing others.  If you need help, you need it!

2. Get outside and get some sun on your skin.

Sunlight is beneficial to your mental health in a variety of ways.  It helps to regulate your circadian rhythms, which may be disturbed if you are having trouble sleeping, or sleeping too much.  It can wake you up and give you a little boost to just get one thing done today.  It also helps your body synthesize vitamin D, which especially in the winter you may be deficient in.  Some symptoms of Vitamin D deficiency are extreme fatigue, joint pain and depression.  Sound familiar?  Even 20 minutes outside in a winter coat is better than staying on your butt inside.  Make it a goal to do it at minimum every other day.

3. Get some exercise, even if it seems insignificant.

Pushing a stroller around a mall for an hour, even if you have no money and don’t even care enough to bother window shopping will get a few endorphins flowing through your body and give you a bit of a mood boost.  The summer of 2014 when I was undergoing the CBT and group therapy, I was flat broke more often than not, but one of the best things I did for myself was take my kids to the farmers market every Saturday.  I had a kind friend who had sent me a gift card for a local veggie vendor, so I always had an excuse to get out there, even if I didn’t have enough money to even afford a coffee besides.  Sometimes it was sunny, sometimes not, but it always got me out pushing the stroller around and getting a bit of exercise.  Make small achievable exercise goals.  If once a week is all you can muster, celebrate that.  If you think you can work your way up to 3-4 times a week or more, maybe consider making a walk to a destination like Tim Hortons for a cheap but enjoyable treat.  Don’t set your goals too high too fast, as it will only add to the mom-guilt when you can’t achieve them.  Save BeachBody for a time when you’re feeling more well.

4. Eat at least two decent meals a day.

Sounds easier said than done, right? It doesn’t have to be so.  Decent doesn’t mean fancy, it can be a sandwich with sliced carrots and celery or maybe an apple on the side.  Just make sure you eat regularly, and not just fistfuls of cereal out of the box or leftover Easter chocolate. Particularly if you’re breastfeeding, you need to sustain yourself with nutrients.  Your baby will always get what he/she needs from your milk, but if you’re not replenishing it in your diet, it will be at your body’s detriment.  Do yourself a favour and stock up on easy to grab raw snacks like crunchy veggies, fruit and nuts.  Be conscious of going overboard on the carbs, as it’s always a temptation for folks when they’re beyond burnt out, but they only provide temporary relief from symptoms and often make you crash harder when your blood sugar drops after a while.  And don’t forget to drink lots of water!  Set a reminder on your phone or keep a tally on a whiteboard in your kitchen.

5. Get out and see a friend

It’s easy to push socialization to the back burner when you are behind in so many things, feel like garbage and can’t be bothered to brush your hair.  But getting out and being seen and heard by someone who knows you and appreciates you for being you, and not just a diaper-changing milk-machine, can be very therapeutic.  Humans need socialization for their emotional well being, so don’t put it so far down the list that you end up going weeks or months without any meaningful adult interaction.  Consider it a must for your mental health, and make a date, even if it’s just running errands together.

6. Be kind and forgiving of yourself.

Perinatal mood disorders (in case you haven’t heard, depression isn’t the only problem that affects new moms, anxiety, OCD and PTSD happen too) are a BITCH.  They rob you of an accurate view of yourself and tell you you’re a failure or a bad mom. It’s not true. You have an illness and it needs to be treated, same as if you had pneumonia or hepatitis. It is not something to feel guilty about or that you should just get over.  So don’t sweat when you have days where the best you can do is get out of bed and change into cleaner pyjamas.  If you find that it’s too much of a struggle to get the basic necessities for your child (food, safety, clean diapers), or are having suicidal thoughts, go to the doctor immediately.  Make sure your spouse (or closest relative or friend if there is no spouse) knows exactly how badly you feel.  It may seem like it’s totally obvious to you, but your spouse may not realize the extent to which the mood disorder is affecting you.  That said, take it one day, one hour, one moment at a time. Breathe. Let it go. Start again.  This shit is HARD, and it’s ok to be gentle with yourself about it.

7. Get enough good-quality sleep.

Yeah. That may seem like a pipe-dream for some new families.  But if you’re getting your circadian rhythms set properly with some sunlight, and you’re getting a bit of exercise, it may be easier to get good quality sleep when sleep time is available.  Sleep with your infant in your room so you don’t have to go far for night feedings.  Take a nap during the day.  If you have an older child that won’t nap, make an arrangement with a friend or neighbour to take him for an hour or two a few times a week so you can catch up on zzz’s.  Regular, (mostly) uninterrupted sleep is crucial to your brain and mental health.  Make it a priority and enlist the help of your co-parent to get it figured out for yourself.

Moving Forward

Once you’ve done two or three things on the above list, make a list of the things you need to get done to get your responsibilities and life back on track. Laundry? Dishes? Vacuuming, picking up? Delegate those tasks to friends who ask how they can help, or if no one’s offering, ask them.  Ask older siblings and spouses to pick up an extra task.  If they’re not available or it’s going to be more work than it’s worth to convince them, ask from your local friends and family.  If none of those exist, consider hiring a maid or a postpartum doula. If the money’s not there, consider asking well-meaning but geographically distanced relatives and friends for help to hire a professional.  Find a way to surround yourself with support.

Please let me know if you’re having trouble with any of this, or comment if you want to share more tips for weathering perinatal mood disorders.

With love and admiration,

Macau Birth Doula

 

 

Chatelaine’s Women of the Year 2015

I loved reading about inspirational Canadian women in this article. There are a few I was definitely really impressed with this year, namely Mrs. Universe Ashley Callingbull and Green Party of Canada leader Elizabeth May. But my favourite quote from this listicle was about 94 year old landscape architect Cornelia Hahn Oberlander, about her success: “What’s her secret? The “5 Ps” that have guided her six-decade plus career: patience, persistence, politeness, passion and professionalism.”

Sounds like a brilliant concept to bring into 2016.

 

Who are some women who inspired you this year?  What lessons have you learned from them that you will be carrying into 2016?

Breastfeeding in Macau: Current Status and Advice from an Expert

Recently I had the good fortune of being invited to attend an all-day seminar about breastfeeding, presented to the medical community of Macau.  Dr. Jack Newman, a world-renowned expert on breastfeeding presented four lectures throughout the day, which I will comment on in later posts.

The general theme of his advice to the Macau medical community was that, in order to improve breastfeeding outcomes here, a few things need to change from a government and hospital policy standpoint.  The WHO recommends children be breastfed to the exclusion of all other foods until approximately 6 months of age, and continue to breastfeed in conjunction with solid foods until at least 2 years of age.  I don’t have the current stats for Macau on hand, and I will research them and get back on this, but it is safe to say that from the social reaction of most mothers to this idea, it is not common that Macau babies are getting the full benefit of their mother’s milk.

Among Dr. Newman’s recommendations: extend maternity leave from employment.  Compared with Canada (52 weeks) and some European countries (3 years), Macau has mandated 8 weeks maternity leave.  This does not leave enough time for mothers to exclusively breastfeed their children until they are old enough to eat some solid foods while their mothers are away working.

In addition to the maternity leave, mothers and newborns will be able to eliminate certain breastfeeding challenges at the outset if they are able to room-in together at the hospital after birth.  Keeping newborns in separate rooms from their mothers disrupts bonding, and affects a baby’s ability to better handle early challenges of hypoglycemia and jaundice.  Babies and mothers belong together from minute one,  for a wide variety of reasons, not insignificantly because it helps them to establish their breastfeeding relationships. They learn how to communicate easily and effectively about feeding, and can feed on demand, rather than on a schedule or depend on another person to notify them when their baby is crying.

For more of his comments (and a brief soundbite from yours truly!) watch the segment on TDM English language news starting at 8:20 here.

Skin-to-Skin Contact: My Experiences

Gena Kirby of Progressive Parenting Network posted a short interview with Karen Strange, CPM and neonatal resuscitation educator, on the topic of skin-to-skin contact between mothers and newborns in the first moments and hour after birth.

 

Interview with Karen Strange

I have long been a believer and sharer of the benefits of skin-to-skin contact for both mother and baby. A few things that Ms. Strange said jumped out at me and reminded me of my own two births.

“The senses are meant for the optimal survival of our species.  When you interfere with that, it impacts us…in the way that we attach and care for our young. The most important aspect of (the sensory experience immediately after birth) is skin-to-skin.”

In the header image, that is me meeting my son Caleb immediately after his birth.  It is a moment that will forever remain firmly in my memory as I was supported to have a full sensory experience of him.  We had deep eye contact, and the smell and sound of each other as his warm wet little body relaxed on my chest.  It was a perfect moment that I wish every mother could experience after birth.

When my daughter Caitlyn was born two years later, we had a very different experience.  We both had some serious complications that led to her being born by cesarean while I was under general anaesthetic.  As a result, I did not get to meet her until she was about six hours old.

The first time I saw her, I had been wheeled into her treatment room on a gurney, as I could not move myself into a wheelchair yet, due to the pain from my surgery and previous illness.  I propped myself up on one elbow and reached out and felt her cool little belly.  She was under induced hypothermia for treatment of suspected brain injury, so she felt unnaturally cold and lifeless to me, and yet, the moment I touched her, all of my pain immediately vanished.  Reflecting back on that experience to me, I have marveled that if a simple touch with my palm had that effect on me (and it lasted for several hours afterwards), imagine what it can do for infants who have full body contact in the safest and most familiar place to them-their mother’s chest. It is the stuff of miracles.

“Whenever mother and baby go back together after birth (if they have been separated by circumstances), that is where the healing begins. It can occur an hour later, a few hours later, days..but what has to happen is: turning on the critical sensory needs of the brain, which lowers the cortisol levels, and the baby goes here (on the mother’s chest). And when the baby goes here, he will eventually feel safe.  ‘I made it. It’s over.'”

In the adjacent picture, my daughter was about 8 weeks old. She and I had had a very traumatic birth experience, and she had been extremely tense and clingy in the weeks after. Just before this picture was taken, we had spent about 45 minutes cuddling in a natural hot spring (in Moose Jaw, SK) and when we came out she just melted on my chest like a lump of butter. This was the first time I’d seen her totally relax.

To this day (as of writing this she is 2 years and 8 months old), her favourite place to relax is on my chest.  I imagine that because our birth experience left so much wanting, it may be some time before we are both fully healed into our birthright-level of attachment.  We will keep working on it, and I am so happy to have heard Karen Strange’s words on this subject.  When Caitlyn is there, I will be sure that I am open to hearing her and making sure she knows she is heard and understood.

December 6

Today marks three years since my 20 week ultrasound with my daughter; the day it was confirmed for me that she was to be born a girl. It also happens to be the anniversary of the massacre at the ‪#‎ÉcolePolytechnique‬, a day that is marked in remembrance every year in Canada, as the National Day of Remembrance and Action on Violence Against Women.

It is also a lesser-known anniversary: the day that marked the beginning of my most recent struggle with anxiety and depression. Perinatal mood disorders may be triggered by many different things during a woman’s childbearing year; for me it was the thought of bringing a female child into a world that more or less realistically is dangerous for females. Although I fought through panic attacks telling myself they were isolated episodes and could be explained away, I did not seek treatment for my disorder for almost a year later. It did not even really occur to me that ‪#‎PPD‬ might actually also mean PRE-partum (terrible grammar, but you know) depression or anxiety.

So here’s to raising the awareness. Perinatal mood disorders happen. They can be treated. There’s no reason to delay treatment or try to just work it out alone. Help is available.

 

Rebranding: New logo, New Name

A part of setting up shop here in Macau meant I needed to register a new business name in either Chinese or Portuguese, and it can’t have the words parenting, mother, pregnancy, birth, etc, lest I be judged as practicing medicine without a license, or qualifications in the medical field.  “Doula” is not a vocation recognized by the government, so for the purposes of registering, I am a consultant for a yoga and body movement therapy company, and thus Conscious Wellness, aka Bem-Estar Consciente in Portuguese was born.

I am thrilled to unveil my new logo, designed by Sarah Moreland of Chameleon Creative Design, whose patience and creativity made the process fun and painless.

I wanted to preserve the river and mountains landscape that spoke to me of the areas I’ve served in the Fraser Valley and here in the Pearl River Estuary, where Macau sits. Sarah took this image and feminized it, making it curvy like a pregnant woman, making the river delta at once symbolic of new life as a tree and also making the whole thing rather similar to the baby’s side of a placenta.  I really, really love it.  I hope everyone else does too!

Now to work out my website colours to match…coming soon.